Looking for a Job is like … Work

I sit and wait for something to happen and as each day goes by nothing happens, no calls, no emails, no acknowledgment.

A few times in the past I have posted about rejoining the workforce. I had all the intentions of landing a full-time, meaningful job in a relatively short amount of time. Yet, I have found the process more difficult than I initially thought. As I reviewed all the jobs which are available, I was sure I would have a job within a few days. I looked and considered the job openings for churches, chaplain positions, non-profit ministries and veteran’s non-profit organizations. I started sending out resumes to churches that listed opportunities on ministry job websites. I was convinced I would receive a phone call or an email right away. However, I found the opposite to be true. Out of all the churches I sent resumes to, only one church actually responded in any sort of manner. It was a nicely worded email and straight to the point, informing me they believed other candidates were better suited for the position. I was not upset or offended by the email. I was, in fact, happy, that at least one church had the courtesy to acknowledge I had submitted a resume. So here I sit waiting for something to happen and as each day goes by nothing happens, no calls, no emails, no acknowledgment I have submitted an application, resumes or cover letter. Just crickets chirping away in the background making me feel I am engaging a world that does not even know I exist.

So far the search for meaningful employment has not gone very well, maybe it because I’m not very good at being a civilian. I’m still waiting for the email or phone call from the Army chaplain personnel manager to tell me where I am going for my next assignment and the job they set-aside for me. But unfortunately, no personnel manager is about to inform me of my next assignment or position. For some reason, I thought I would be different. I thought I would buck the system and land the first Job I applied for, yet I was wrong. I have not even landed an interview, a callback or even an email showing any type of interest. At one point I applied to a major pet company to become a dog trainer. I thought I would work a side job until I could land another career job. But alas, I never heard back from the company either. Not saying it was discouraging … but it was, I can’t even land a service job let alone a meaningful professional job.

I am a Pastor called of God to minister to His people 

preacher-clip-art-27

whether I am called Chaplain or Pastor … it is all the same.  

As most veterans have come to learn, trying to translate military experiences and job titles to a civilian job is very difficult. I am amazed at how many church leaders do not view me for what I am … a pastor. Most will not even take the time to read my resume; they see the words “Army Chaplain” and never equate a chaplain as a full-time pastor. When I list the chapel services I was responsible for, pastoral search committees do not associate my experience for what it is, being a pastor of a church.

To make it a bit more challenging, throw in the fact I have PTSD. Something I cannot hide as a minister. I minister out of my life experiences; I can never minister to people without revealing this significant aspect of my life. I cannot share how God has worked in my life without sharing how God has brought healing to my soul and my struggles with PTSD.

By the way, both my Healing the Storm blog and my Facebook page truthfully address the struggles I have with PTSD.

delrinSo see, I can’t really hide it or not mention it even if I wanted to, of course, my service Dog Delrin gives it way also.

What makes the struggle even harder is the general misunderstanding, and misconception people have concerning those of us who suffer from PTSD. The prevailing thought of a Soldier who has PTSD is that we are on the verge of having a major break down. They are afraid at any moment we are going to “go off” and lose control of ourselves and either seriously hurt someone or even kill someone. We are seen as emotionally unstable, untrustworthy, a danger to others or ourselves. We are someone who needs to be carefully watched “just in case.” Does my PTSD cause me difficulties at times? Yes. Does my PTSD cause me to withdraw from people from time to time? Yes. Do sounds, smells or things I see sometimes trigger me? Are there times when these triggers cause me to be scared, become hyper-vigilant and aware? Yes, they do. Are there times when my triggers go so far as to make me believe I am back in Iraq or that I am in imminent danger? Of course, they do. Do my triggers make me unfit, unsafe and unstable to minister to God’s people? No! For even the Apostle Paul tells us in the book of Corinthians that God chooses the weak things of the world to confound the wise.

It is very difficult to hold onto encouraging words.

So I have learned looking for a Job is a lot harder than I thought. Just navigating the initial application process with the hope I can have a small chance to prove I am a viable candidate is trying in itself. Throw in my status as a veteran with PTSD who has undergone treatment in a mental health treatment facility and it becomes even more challenging. Will I ever get a professional job again? Will I get the opportunity to once again serve in full-time Christian ministry? Will, I ever have the chance to once again to do what I love most, and that is to preach? The easy answer people will give is “God has a place and a ministry for you.” However, it is challenging to hold onto those encouraging words at times, especially when churches do not even acknowledge they received my resume.

O’ well that’s my sad story for the day and all my complaining for the week. I’ll post this today and then start looking for a meaningful job once again tomorrow morning. Where that leads, I have no idea.

I am off once again to valiantly search for a job!

Lesson Four Notes: Where is God in the Hard Times

The lesson four notes are now available to view on my website. Just click on the “Where is God in the Hard Times” page. This week we look at the Application of the Biblical interpretation of Job 19:25-27.

Lesson Three Notes Where is God in the Hard Times

The lesson three notes are now available to view on my website. Just click on the “Where is God in the Hard Times” page. This week we look at the principles of Biblical interpretation as we seek to interpret Job19:25-27.

I have also updated the notes from Lesson Two,  correcting and adding a few comments under the overview of Job’s discussion with his friends.

 

Where is God in the Hard Times: Lesson Two Notes

I have published the lesson two note on my class Where is God in the Hard Times.  These note are found on the Where is God in the Hard Times page. 

Hope you enjoy these notes.

SPIRITUAL INJURY

Spiritual injury is caused by a contradiction that stems from a belief that did not accurately capture what was happening in our lives at the time the event happened. – Victor Scott “Spiritual Injuries: A definition” victorscott.org

      Psalms 69:1-4; 16-20 NLT

Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me. Those who hate me without cause outnumber the hairs on my head many enemies try to destroy me with lies, demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.

Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful. Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful. Don’t hide from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble! Come and redeem me; free me from my enemies. You know of my shame, scorn, and disgrace. You see all that my enemies are doing. Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me. I am suffering and in pain.

In these verses we see David struggling with a broad sense of despair. He is overwhelmed in his circumstances and is on the verge of total despondency. He is so overwhelmed that he describes his emotional state as sinking deeper and deeper into the mire, of being consumed with the floodwaters. He cries out for help only to become exhausted in his effort. He literally cries as he waits for help from God. Yet God’s support does not come. In Verses 16-20 David is convinced that God love is unfailing, His mercy is plentiful and He is able to redeem David from his misery. Yet he cries out to God and reveals his brokenness, he calls out that he is in deep trouble and is suffering emotional pain. He wishes there was just one person who would show some type of pity upon him. In these verses, David is revealing to us the extent of his spiritual injury, which has taken over his life. Continue reading “SPIRITUAL INJURY”

Good Friday Reading From Mark 15

I have thought about doing some video recording to add to my blog and I finally decided to give it a try. I thought since today is Good Friday it would be a good day to try my first video by reading the crucifixion account from the Gospel of Mark and providing a few comments after. The ending is a little rough, but as I continue recording they will become smoother. Please let me know what you think and if I should continue to add videos to my blog. Thank you so much for your support, please feel free to like and pass the website onto your family, friend and veterans you may know.