SPIRITUAL INJURY

Spiritual injury is caused by a contradiction that stems from a belief that did not accurately capture what was happening in our lives at the time the event happened. – Victor Scott “Spiritual Injuries: A definition” victorscott.org

      Psalms 69:1-4; 16-20 NLT

Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me. Those who hate me without cause outnumber the hairs on my head many enemies try to destroy me with lies, demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.

Answer my prayers, O Lord, for your unfailing love is wonderful. Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful. Don’t hide from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble! Come and redeem me; free me from my enemies. You know of my shame, scorn, and disgrace. You see all that my enemies are doing. Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me. I am suffering and in pain.

In these verses we see David struggling with a broad sense of despair. He is overwhelmed in his circumstances and is on the verge of total despondency. He is so overwhelmed that he describes his emotional state as sinking deeper and deeper into the mire, of being consumed with the floodwaters. He cries out for help only to become exhausted in his effort. He literally cries as he waits for help from God. Yet God’s support does not come. In Verses 16-20 David is convinced that God love is unfailing, His mercy is plentiful and He is able to redeem David from his misery. Yet he cries out to God and reveals his brokenness, he calls out that he is in deep trouble and is suffering emotional pain. He wishes there was just one person who would show some type of pity upon him. In these verses, David is revealing to us the extent of his spiritual injury, which has taken over his life. Continue reading “SPIRITUAL INJURY”

Lost in Forgotten Memories

I can once again declare with all certainty “That God’s love is never-ending, that He does not leave us in a state of hopelessness to wonder by ourselves in the midst of trouble.”

One of the symptoms of PTSD is the inability to remember details or facts about the traumatic event. Frequently when we are missing details about our traumatic events we experience unexplained fear, anger, resentment or even dazed confusion. Generally, this loss of memory can affect us for years. Instead of remembering the event itself or the details of the event, we are merely left with a big black cloud of nothing. Many times we wish we could remember what actually happened because staring into the dark abyss of lost memories is exhausting and wears upon one’s emotions.

A few weeks ago, I came across one of my Battalion Chaplains Dan Kersey on Facebook. He was the chaplain for the historic 1-7 Cavalry Battalion when I was the brigade chaplain during Iraqi Freedom 2006-2008. I have not talked with him since I left the brigade in the summer of 2008. 1-7 was the unit I referred to in my first blog post “A Moment in Time.” I wrote that the attack on 2-8 Cavalry Battalion in Taji Market happened during the memorial ceremony for 3 of the 1-7 Soldiers. I knew the attack against 2-8 happened in August of 2007 but I was unaware of the exact date. So I messaged Dan and asked if he remembered the date of the ceremony. He told me he would check his records. Roughly an hour later, he messaged me and said the only ceremony they had conducted for multiple soldiers was in December of 2007. I was surprised by this news, I was sure the attack took place during the 1-7 memorial ceremony. I began to doubt myself and wonder if the memories I had, really occurred. I spent the next few hours searching the web trying to match up these dates. During my search I found two websites. The first was a website that listed the names and dates of Texas service members who were killed in the Iraqi theater. The second website listed the suicide attacks that occurred during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Between these two websites my memory of that day become clearer.

Continue reading “Lost in Forgotten Memories”